DATING TIPS ON HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOUR DATING A MATURE MAN VS AN IMMATURE MAN

   After meeting and dating different men who

you thought were good guys at first, do you

really know what a man who's emotionally MATURE

looks like?

   Or are you finding that while you think you

can tell a mature man from an immature man, you

don't seem to be as good at figuring this out as

you'd like to be?

   Since I'm guessing it wouldn't hurt for me to

shed light on this for you, let's talk for a

second about what a mature man really looks like.

   I'll start here...

HOW TO KNOW WHAT KIND OF MAN YOU HAVE ON YOUR

HANDS

   Have you ever been dating a guy when one of

those situations came up in his life that shook

his foundation and challenged him - either made

him re-think who he is, what he does, or what

he's most passionate about?

   For example, maybe he lost his job or a

particular sport or activity he's devoted to, or

maybe someone close to him passed away.

   If you've been dating a man when one of these

kinds of situations came up in his life, you

almost certainly watched him pull back from you a

bit once it happened. Men often do this when they

feel their life and significance is in crisis.

   But here's where differences between an

emotionally mature man and an immature man show

up:

THE EMOTIONALLY IMMATURE MAN RUNS AND HIDES

   An emotionally immature man will completely

withdraw without warning. He will completely

avoid addressing the issues he's facing and the

feelings he's going through.

   Not only will he block himself out of his own

feelings, but he'll block you and your

relationship completely out as well.

   An immature man can't admit when he's going

through a challenging time, and he can't open up

and see that allowing the people he's closest to

and loves the most to be there to listen and

support him is the best thing.

   Instead, he wants to isolate himself to try

and make the pain and the problem go away. But

it doesn't work that way.

   On the other hand, an emotionally mature man

will handle things very differently.

THE EMOTIONALLY MATURE MAN STANDS STILL AND LETS

YOU IN

   While an emotionally mature man will still

feel the pain and frustration of his circumstances

and might even noticeably pull back a bit in all

areas of his life, he WON'T shut the woman he

loves out of his heart and mind.

   In fact, an emotionally mature man knows that

in order to have a truly loving and honest

relationship, he has to be honest about who he is

and how he's feeling, even when he's feeling down

about himself.

   And he can't hide away if he's going to stay

close and loving with the woman in his life.

   Emotionally mature men are willing to show

their feelings, and more importantly, they're

able to allow the woman in their life to "see"

them even when they're going through a difficult

time.

   They will avoid the temptation men feel to

shut down and go into "survival mode" all alone

in isolation.

   Have you ever watched a man go into survival

mode? If you have, you know that there's no

talking him down from it. It's simply a matter of

whether or not the man has the mental and

emotional tools inside him to handle the situation

in a better way.

   Mature men understand that their feelings can't

simply be stuffed away or shut off, or else the

relationship and the women in their life suffers

as well.

MATURITY IN ACTION: THE SIGNS TO LOOK FOR

   Now that you're starting to get what I'm

talking about, start looking for signs of

emotional maturity in any and all of the men

around you. Practice looking at all areas of a

man's life, and you'll be able to identify a

man's emotional maturity level:

Maturity Area #1: Work

   Is the man able to handle adversity,

criticism or even intense politics at work and

remain level-headed, relatively calm, or even

compassionate?

   Or is he spiteful, does he talk about problems

instead of thinking about solutions and how to

improve personal dynamics in his work life and

relationships?

   Compassion and the ability to handle complex

mental and emotional situations without coming

unglued or doing negative or harmful things to

other people is one of the best signs of

emotional maturity - and sensitivity as well.

Maturity Area #2: Friends

   What type of people does a man spend his time

around?

   It has been said that you can know all you

need to know about a person simply by looking at

the people they spend their time around. A man's

closest friends and peers are one of the very

best windows into his mental and emotional world.

   Are a man's friends people of integrity? Are

they doing positive things with their lives and

committed to living a good life?

   And are a man's friends capable of being in

mature and committed relationships? Does he have

any married friends who have stable relationships

where both partners are relatively happy and

fulfilled?

   Men spend most of their time with people whose

values they share.

Maturity Area #3: Family

   How does a man handle his relationships with

his family members?

   Sure, lots of people have challenging family

situations, but whether or not a guy's parents

are together is not what's really telling about

him. It's more important whether or not he's on

stable emotional footing in the way he relates

to his parents.

   Fighting intensely with parents, high and low

emotional swings, or completely estranged

situations without a clear reason can be signs of

deeper emotional turmoil that's unresolved and

might mean that a man will have trouble being

there and being present and stable with you

emotionally.

   So you know, there are other key areas of

maturity you should look for in a man to make

sure you're not wasting your time with someone

who isn't capable of the relationship you

deserve. If you have questions are comments on this subject feel free to post

Recap on Last Post "The Real Housewives in ATL"

Recap on The Real House Wives........If your African American than 9 1/2 out of 10 You read Ebony Magazine. Cynthia Bailey is Now Mrs. Cynthia Thomas She and Peter have been married for a year now.. The couple actually meet 18years ago. But as the old saying goes Time is of the Essence. The two reconnected 3years ago and began to rekindle their romance. Well everyone I believe these two are off on a good start with a Fresh New Year, New Marriage and Peter has started his new venture as Vice President of "Uptown Magazine. The two were voted as one of the Hottest Black Couples in Ebony's Edition dedicated to Celebrating Black Love. And Kim Zosiak will soon marry She and Kroy are currently engaged and will appear this Sunday on Andy Cohen's " Watch What Happens Live". Andy's throwing the "New" Parents to be a baby shower. Congrats to you Kim, to have and to hold your own man is a beautiful thing. I really would love to see Kandi Burruss find Love . I believe it will happen soon well I will keep you guys posted. Keep your eyes open . I will be Posting. The Most Intoxicating Couples of 2011 Amongst them Atlanta's own T.I. and Tiny

"THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA" REWIND

www.yahoo.com www.google.com WELL, HOW MANY OF YOU ARE ANXIOUS FOR THIS SUNDAY'S SEASON FINALE OF "THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF ATLANTA?....BUT FIRST, LET'S RECAP THE LAST EPISODE...I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE THINKING WHAT I WAS THINKING...RIGHT?...AND WHAT MIGHT THAT BE YOU ASKED?....HONEY, I THOUGHT. MRS. NENE LEAKS WAS GONNE PULL A WILLO SMITH ON MRS. KIM "AND WHIP THAT HEAD BACK AND FORTH!.....NOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG....I DO BELIEVE LIL MRS. NENE IS SLIGHTLY JEALOUS OF KIM. AND KIM BRING A LOT OF THAT ON HERSELF. I MEAN COME ON KIM IS YOUR WIG TOO TIGHT? HOW DOES ONE DEFINE FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE THAT'S CONSTANTLY THREATENING THEIR WELL BEING? BUT WE ALL KNOW BRAVO PAY THOSE TWO A LIL EXTRA FOR A LIL EXTRA DRAMA TO END THE SEASON WITH A BANG AND TO LEAVE VIEWERS ON THE EDGE OF THEIR SEATS UNTIL THE NEW SEASON BEGINS. TRUTH BE TOLD I BELIEVE THEY PAID NENE AND GREG TO PLAY THE "DIVORCE CARD"......NOW WE MUST TOUCH ON THIS CYNTHIA AND PETER SITUATION. NOW, KENYA BUT KENYA KNOWS....A MAN THAT MIS-MANAGES MONEY IS A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN. AND IS IT ME OR DOES IS ANGRY!....CYNTHIA IF YOU EVER RUN ACROSS THIS I WANT IT TO GO DOWN IN HISTORY THAT KENYA SCHOOLED YOU ON THIS OLD SKOOL FOOL....HONEY, HE IS DAMN NEAR 70....IF THAT NEGRO DON'T HAVE IT TOGETHER BY NOW...HE NEVER WILL.....AND I ACTUALLY LIKED PETER AT THE BEGINING OF THE SEASON.....OH YEAH! NOTE TO CYNTHIA...WATCH NENE HONEY!! SHE SAY SHE LIKE'EM DARK AND CHOCALATE....BUT MARRIED TO A PEANUT BUTTER BROTHER....GIRL!! KEEP YOUR ENEMIES CLOSE AND YOUR FRIENDS CLOSER....NOW...LET'S TALK ABOUT LIL MRS. KANDI SHE'S WHAT I LIKE TO CALL SLICK AND MESSY...REMEMBER MRS JUANITA FROM "IN LIVING COLOR? YOU KNOW ! HER FAMOUS LINE WAS....WELL, I AIN'T ONE TO GOSSIP....YOU AIN'T HEARD IT FROM ME....OK..THAT'S KANDI SLICK AND MESSY. ONE THING I RESPECT ABOUT HER IS HER GRIND. SHE'S A TRUE GO GETTER ...AND TO THINK SHE HAS ALL THAT MONEY AND REFUSE TO DO SOMETHING WITH THAT HAIR!...HOTLANTA KANDI HAIR IS A "HOT" MESS. AND TO SHOW THAT I'M NOT A HATER. (FREE PLUG) ALBUM IN STORES NOW! KANDI COATED....GO COPE THAT....I HEARD IT'S NOT EVEN DOING AS GOOD AS KIM'S SINGLE "TARDY FOR THE PARTY"....NOW I AIN'T ONE TO GOSSIP SO YOU AIN'T HEARD IT FROM ME...(LOL)....NOTE TO KIM: STOP THE MADNESS GIRL YOU CAN'T SING!....THE RING DIDN'T MEAN A THING WELL GO PAWN IT AND RETIRE YOUR SINGING CAREER.....WELL YOU KNOW WE CAN'T FORGET ABOUT MRS. PHAEDRA PARKS, COME ON PHAEDRA YOUR A PREACHERS KID DIDN'T THEY TEACH YOU THAT THE TRUTH SHALL SET YOU FREE?...TELL THE TRUTH AND SHAME THE DEVIL. GIRL YOU REALLY LIKE THOSE MALE STRIPPERS...I SAID TO MYSELF ..."NOW WHICH ONE OF THOSE MALE DANCERS IS THE ONE PHAEDRA SAYS CALLS HIMSELF "RIDICULOUS"GIRL I KNOW YOU COULDN'T WAIT TIL LIGHT SKIN WAS SET FREE ....TELL THE TRUTH PHAEDRA I WON'T TELL YOUR MOTHER ...YOU DIDN'T WAIT FOR A RING BEFORE YOU YOU GAVE HIM YOUR GOODIES. GO AHEAD GIRL ..LET IT OUT GET IT OFF YOUR CONSCIENCE ..AMERICA ALREADY KNOWS THAT YOUR A FREAK A LEAK. GUILTY AS CHARGED AFTER ALL SHE IS A "LIE" AWYER (IN MY MADEA VOICE)...THE ONE THAT I WAS MOST IMPRESSED WITH THIS SEASON WAS SHERAE. SHE DID HER THIS SEASON HONEY. SHE DATED , DANCED AND WENT INTO DEBT TRYING TO PUSH THAT ASHTON MARTIN...GIRL STAY IN YOUR LANE HONEY........NOW I WOULD LIKE TO CLOSE ON THIS NOTE IS IT JUST ME OR IS DWIGHT, LAWRENCE AND DEREK J TRYING TO GET. THEIR OWN SPIN OFF? A-LIST YOU BETTER WORK IT! THOSE THREE QUEENS KNOW HOW TO BRING IT !!! OH YEAH AND KROY YOU BETTER BLOOD TEST KIM'S BABY ...THAT JUST MIGHT BE MR. MIAMI. AKA THE SEED OF CHUCKY"S BABY...THAT WAS ONE WEIRD DUDE...WELL KENYA KNOWS ...YOU ALL WILL BE TOONED IN THIS SUNDAY TO WATCH WHAT HAPPENS NEXT...www.bravotv.com